Cerita Humor

** Funny Potato Jokes **




1) How do you describe an angry potato? Boiling Mad.



2) Why didn't the mother potato want her daughter to marry the famous newscaster? Because he was a commontater.



3) Why wouldn't the reporter leave the mashed potatoes alone? He desperately wanted a scoop.



4) What do you say to an angry 300-pound baked potato? Anything, just butter him up.



5) What does a British potato say when it thinks something is wonderful? It's mashing!



* Know Your Taters



Some people never seem motivated to participate, but are just content to watch while others do the work.

They are called 'Spec Taters'.



Some people never do anything to help, but are gifted at finding fault with the way others do the work.

They are called 'Comment Taters'.



Some people are very bossy and like to tell others what to do, but don't want to soil their own hands.

They are called 'Dick Taters'.



Some people are always looking to cause problems by asking others to agree with them. It is too hot or too cold, too sour or too sweet. They are called, not Silly Billies but 'Aggie Taters'.



There are those who say they will help, but somehow just never get around to actually doing the promised help.

They are called 'Hezzie Taters'.



Some people can put up a front and pretend to be someone they are not.

They are called 'Immy Taters'.



Then there are those who love others and do what they say they will. They are always prepared to stop whatever they are doing and lend a helping hand. They bring real sunshine into the lives of others.

They are called 'Sweet Po Taters'.



** Greed **




In front of the local butcher's, an art connoisseur noticed a mangy little kitten lapping up milk from a saucer. The saucer, he realised with a start, was a rare and precious piece of pottery. It was, in fact, a collector's item.



He strolled into the store and offered two pounds for the cat.



"He's not for sale," said the butcher.



"Look," said the collector, "that cat is dirty and scabby, but I'm an eccentric. I prefer cats that way. I'll raise my offer to ten pounds."



"It's a deal," said the proprietor, and pocketed the ten immediately.



"For that amount of money I'm sure you won't mind throwing in the saucer," said the connoisseur, "The kitten seems so happy drinking from it."



"I can't do that," said the butcher firmly, "That's my lucky saucer. From that saucer, so far this week, I've sold 18 cats."



* Cat Uses One of Nine Lives



Emmy, the cat, was forced to lick condensation off windows to survive after being accidentally locked in a garden shed for more than two months. The cat's owner thought she had died after spending weeks looking for her in the UK town of Torquay, in Devon, UK.



The 10-year-old feline instead spent nine weeks licking the moist windows of the garden shed that she had hidden in before her owner finally found her.



Manager of the Blue Cross animal centre in nearby Watcombe, M/S Laura Valentine, told reporters that Emmy was lucky to have survived her ordeal. 'The RSPCA say she survived by licking condensation off the windows in the shed,' Ms Valentine was quoted as saying. 'It is remarkable - she must have been in torment in there... her owner really had no idea where she was.



They didn't think she would survive because she was so skeletal but she's fine now. Emmy is still traumatised and has a fear of tight spaces and of being left alone,' she continued, 'She has recovered physically but mentally she is still a bit fragile. She also seems to have lost the ability or the will to jump and won't even hop on or off things.'



Emmy has been placed up for adoption by Blue Cross.